I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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