my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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