i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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