When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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