genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
