With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We just shotgunned beers for America
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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