Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
