Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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