Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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