I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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