It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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