are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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