My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Someone signed my nipple.
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