the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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