im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
