If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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