But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
