she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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