Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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