its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
