arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
