Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
