i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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