Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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