dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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