toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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