Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
