You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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