Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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