My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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