YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
