Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
