Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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