I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
