NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I am naked and annoyed.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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