oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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