it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
