I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
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Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
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When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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