The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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