I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
