Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
