Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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