don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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