There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
