when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Swine flu is the new snow day.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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