youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
