my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
