I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize