Small penises have feelings too.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
