There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
