I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
