does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
