there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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