i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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