I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
