all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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