You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
