Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
