That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
