What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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