you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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