My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize