If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
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Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
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I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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